Breathe

Disclaimer: This story has very dark themes and should not be read by viewers who are going through trauma and/or easily disturbed. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Hey. Can I sit here? Is this spot taken? Thanks.

Me? No, I’m just another student. Like you. Psychology, actually. I don’t really know what I’m going to do with it yet, but I think that’s okay for any girl in college to not know. Or boy. Why, do you know what you want to do with your life?

Wow. That’s so cool. It sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. I wish I was like you. You’re so confident. Where do you get that energy?

Whatever. The book can stay closed. I’m having too much fun talking to you. Tell me more about your goals. I love when people know what they want. Especially when they work hard and take it, you know? I’m going to be like that someday. I kind of already am. I don’t take shit from anyone. Life hits me, I hit back harder.

Hey, do you have a cell phone number? I guess that’s a stupid question, everyone has a cell phone. Yeah, I feel like we should stay in touch. This was way too cool to just leave to a chance encounter, you know? Yeah. I’ll text you.

Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet me a second time. Yeah, I actually don’t know too many people here. No, this is my third year too, I just transferred here from another college. Yeah, exactly, I know like no one here. Woah, you study in groups? That’s so cool. Who’s in the group, can I join?

Oh.

No, it’s neat you have a girlfriend. What’s her name? That’s a nice name. How long have you been together? Wow, that takes dedication, especially when you’re both in college. I’m proud of you. Not everyone is willing to stick together like that. Who are your other friends? That’s cool.

Wow, they’re so good to you. They really respect you. You must have earned their respect, huh? How’d you do that? Oh, wow. You have quite a history. So what were you like before college? Just keep talking. This is all really interesting.

Wow. That’s dark. You’re so strong for getting through all that. You’re so brave. Hey. Breathe. It’s okay. We all have our demons, right? How’d you manage to deal with that? That would make so many people crazy. You’re so strong. Me? I’m not scared. Mental health is my passion. Keep telling me more. I’m so proud of you for being so open, so vulnerable. No, I won’t tell anyone about this.

Thanks for letting me come over. No, I’m not okay. I’m having a bad night. You understand that, right? You understand stuff like this. You’ve lived through so much. You deserve love so much. Thank you for letting me stay. Could you hold me a little closer?

Yeah, like that. I just need to unload all of the stuff that’s been going on in my life. You’re so sweet. Thank you for listening. No, I haven’t been through a lot, you’ve been through a lot. Why are you supporting me like this when so much has gone wrong in your life? You’re amazing. Kiss me.

Breathe. It’s okay. This can stay between us. Of course I didn’t invite myself over just to seduce you. The kiss just kind of happened. Well… did you enjoy it? Really? I enjoyed it too. Yeah, I know it’s wrong. I don’t know what she’d say. She doesn’t have to know. No, I won’t tell anyone about this. Kiss me again.

I don’t know. I think I’m just scared and vulnerable tonight. No, you’re not taking advantage of me. You’re sweet. I wanted this. I want this. Let’s keep texting.

How was class? That’s good. Mine was okay. I couldn’t pay attention to it much. What do you mean, ‘why’? No reason. Okay, fine. I was thinking about last night. Yeah, the kiss. I can’t get it out of my mind. Wow, really? You wanted to go even further? You’re so confident. Okay, fine, me too. Hey, I can want people too. I may look innocent but we all have our naughtier sides, right?

Yeah, I guess you look pretty innocent too. What? You’re not? How so?

Wow. Really? I never would have guessed you had that much experience. I mean, okay, fine, you’re cute. Hot. But you didn’t seem like… You call yourself a slut? Wow. That’s so bold. I like it. I can be kind of slutty too, you know. Everyone can. It’s always the ones you don’t suspect. I totally didn’t suspect you.

So if you’re such a manslut, what have you done? Wow, really? Anything you’ve always wanted to try? Ooh, I’ve always wanted to try public sex. This is so naughty. I’ve never texted anyone like this before. Yes, you’re the first. Me? Well, I’ve had sex in my car before with my last boyfriend. He was okay. He could never get me off though. I think he was kind of small. Am I a size queen? Like three inches. Yeah. How big are you?

Oh fuck, yes. Show me. Here’s my Snapchat.

Wow. That’s impressive. I bet your girlfriend loves that. What? Really? What, does she not like sex? That’s weird. So how many times? You’ve been together a few years, right? Only around four times? Total? That’s so tragic. If you weren’t in a relationship I would like to…

Well, you’re just going to have to finish that sentence yourself, aren’t you? Oh. You did. Oh, and you added more. You’re so confident. I want to be confident like you.

Well, I don’t know what I should start with. I guess… can you keep a secret? I’m good at getting what I want from people. It’s kind of fucked up, but it feels so nice when people have a crush on you and you use that. You feel the same way? Oh, thank God. I thought you were going to call me a freak or something. Aww, you’re so sweet. It does feel so good to be desired.

Yeah, I desire you too. I want you. I just feel bad because you have a girlfriend and all these friends and I’m getting closer with them, and it feels like I’m doing something bad… well, I guess we’re doing something bad. But I think I kind of like feeling bad. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never wanted something like this before.
Hell yes I want to continue. In fact, do you want to meet up tonight? I want that too. In fact, I want to tell you exactly what I want. Yeah, I’m going to take control now. I want you to know just how badly I want you. I’ve been playing coy with you for a while, and I love it when you take control and be the pervert, but I want to play the pervert too.

When you told me about your public fetish it turned me on so much. I had this idea of us in a classroom together. We’re just listening to a lecture, at a desk, side by side, and you slide your hand in between my thighs. I gasp slightly and look around the room, but you don’t. You’re too bold to do that. You just take what you want, like I do. Your hands don’t immediately reach for my pussy, they just stroke my thigh. You’re such a tease, just like when you’re sexting. I get so wet thinking about what you’re going to do to me. I bite my lip while looking you in the eye and suppress my moans, all while you give me that cocky confident smirk. You’re so fucking hot. I want you so badly.

Who cares about the rest of the fantasy? I’m hot now. I want to come over. We’re adults, aren’t we? We know what we want. We don’t have to lie to ourselves. Are you really going to stop the inevitable? Who’s going to find out? I’ll never tell anyone. This can be our secret.

Fuck yes. I’m coming over right now. I’ll text you when I’ve arrived. I’m here. I was thinking about you the entire drive over. Breathe. Do you like my perfume? I wanted to pick my most alluring and sexy perfume for tonight. I want you to get addicted to me like I am to you. You’re so fucking hot.

Let’s go to your room. We both know what we’re after. Are you going to make me say it? I want your cock, baby. Give it to me. Please. Here, I can get on my knees and take off your pants for you, but I get to kiss you first. Oops, how silly of me. When I said ‘kiss you,’ I meant, ‘shove you against a wall and make out with you while you grab my hips.’ Not that you’re complaining, are you? I bet you love my hips. Other students stare at me when I walk down the hallways. They love my hips so much, they almost don’t notice my breasts. But I bet you notice them, don’t you?

Mm, that’s what I thought. Do you want to see them? Sit down on the bed. Because I’m going to give you a little strip-tease, silly. Do you like how I look in just a bra and jeans? I bet you’ll like it even more when the bra comes off. Beg me for it. Tell me how passionate you are. Make it clear you want my big tits in your face just as badly as I want your cock in my mouth.

Good boy. And off comes the bra. What do you think? Yeah, I like my nipples too. They’re just just for seeing, you know. Get off the bed. Feel them.

Oh, wow. Your touch is so gentle. I wasn’t expecting that. No, in a good way. You know exactly how to caress them. God, this is so hot. I knew I wanted to do this with you for a while. Yeah, well, I like playing the tease. It paid off, didn’t it?

Kiss me again. Grab my ass like you mean it. Grind back up against me. This is so much hotter than with your girlfriend, isn’t it? It’s her loss for not worshipping this cock every day. Speaking of, that monster has been in your pants for far too long. I want to finally see it in person.

Ha, okay. I’ll get on the bed. Show me if you can do a better strip-tease than I can. God damn, yes. Take that shirt off. Do you work out? Yeah, it definitely shows. Hey, no covering up, mister. Be proud of that body.

Oh. Right. Hey, breathe. Don’t think about your demons. Even if you feel that way about yourself, think about how badly someone else wants you. Ignore your demons. Mental health is my passion, and I’m going to take such good care of you. Yeah, strut your stuff. There you go. I like it when you think your body is hot. Now take it out.

Fuck yes. I’m sorry, I can’t help myself. Strip tease over, I need that in my mouth right fucking now. Mmh, it tastes even better than I hoped. Yeah, cheesy line, I know. I just wanted you so fucking badly, sue me. If you don’t like how I talk, tell me to leave.

Ha, that’s what I thought. Now let me see how much of you I can get in my mouth. Let me run my hands up and down your legs. Fuck, I can’t get enough of you. You’re so fucking hot. Do you want to wait any longer? I sure as hell don’t. Well then let’s get on the bed. God, I’ve been waiting for this for so long. Okay, fine, yes, I had a crush on you. Was I planning this since the beginning? I guess that’s for me to know and you to maybe find out. Do you always talk this much before fucking a girl? Then get over here, my legs are open for you, show me if you’re as good as those stories you sext me.

Alright, let’s fucking do this. Yes, I want this. You’re sweet for checking. I appreciate that. Slide it in.

Oh my god. You feel even better than I imagined when we were calling and I was touching myself. Yes, I was touching myself when you called me. Is that weird? Keep fucking me. Call me a freak. I’m your freak, I’m your little perverted girl. I’m such a bad girl. Fuck. Fuck me against the wall. Fuck me from behind. Pull my hair. God, I love the way you pull me close to kiss me. It’s so passionate. I bet you’d be so passionate with the right girlfriend.

Mm, do you like my pussy? I know, I’m so tight. I’m tighter than most girls. And I have these hips and breasts. It’s like I was made to be fucked. You should take advantage of that. Yeah, suck my nipploes as you fuck me. Yes, rub my clit. You’re so good at this. I’m so glad we’re doing this. Tell me you’re glad we’re doing this too. Mm, good.

Fuck, where do you want to finish? You can finish wherever you want. On my face, on my tits… inside me? Wow, that’s so kinky. Yeah, I’m on the pill. Cum inside me. We can imagine I’m not on the pill and we’re risking me getting pregnant. Ooh, is that a fetish of yours? It’s a fetish of mine too. Unh, so sexy. Oh my god. Oh fuck. It’s happening. It’s actually happening. When I first met you I hoped this would happen, oh fuck, it’s even better than I imagined, oh my god. Here it comes. I can feel it building.

Fuck.

I can feel it filling me up. Your loads are so big. Is this because your girlfriend never fucks you? We need to change that. If I were your girlfriend I’d be fucking you every day. You’re way too good at sex to be in a sexless relationship. Wow, that was so amazing. I needed that. Can I… stay and cuddle for a bit? I totally understand if it feels weird now. Breathe. No, I don’t think we’re bad people. Morality is just weird. Do you feel bad? That’s understandable. I can totally accept it if you want us to stop.

Ha. Yeah, I don’t want to stop either. What does that make us? Whatever. Keep spooning me. Breathe. I love the way your chest moves as you breathe. God, you’re such a hunk. I’m so glad I met you. Yeah, I’ll text you when I get home. You have a good night too. Thanks for the ride.

It’s been on my mind all day. No, no, in a good way. I want to do it again. What? Second thoughts? Um… no. It’s fine. I just thought… no, no, it’s cool. Yeah, of course I still would want to hang out with you even if you never wanted to do it again. Do you never want to do it again? I can respect that. Well, let’s say it’s a soft no for now, and in the future… who knows? Hey, I’m not judging you.

Hey, want to go get lunch today? I just like hanging out with you so much. You’re such a cool friend. What? That night? Oh wow, I haven’t thought about that in so long. Yeah, of course. No, I’m totally fine with us only being friends now. I’m not going to say I didn’t love it but I totally respect your boundaries. I haven’t told her anything, no. Why, is she acting out? Oh, acting normally. Well, good for her. What’s normally anyway, how’s she acting these days?

Yikes. That doesn’t sound normal at all. No, I’m being serious. That sounds weird. Why would she say something like that? She’s totally undermining you. Not the type? Maybe she’s sneaky or has a hidden agenda or something.

Why would I lie to you about that? What would I have to gain from that? It’s not like we’re having sex anymore. I’m just being honest. It sounds like she’s not being good to you. Whatever, believe what you want, I’m just saying from an outsider’s position that it sounds like she’s not being good to you. Hey, want to hang out on Saturday?

Hey, good to see you. Class was stupid. Thank you for going on this walk with me. No, life is hard. I was, uh, totally dating this guy. Yup. You’ve never heard of him? What a coincidence. Yeah, he was cartoonishly bad to me. He kept saying these things that I know you in particular will react angrily to. Yup, he definitely actually said that to me. Why do I never get good luck with guys? Except you, of course. Oh, I know, not in that way. I just mean because you’re such a good friend. Yeah. No, I don’t even think about it. I just really thought this guy would be different. All men are the same. Except you. I’m so lucky to have you. No, yeah, as a friend. She’s really lucky to have you as a boyfriend, though. How’s she been? Oh, that’s weird. Sounds distant. No, it doesn’t sound like that’s how she always is, I have a woman’s instinct, trust me. Did you do something to piss her off? Really? It sure sounds like it. No, I don’t think it’s nothing. Maybe you should talk to her about it, tell her you notice it, or something.

Hey! So good to see you. When I invited you out to this party, I didn’t think you’d actually say yes. Well, I don’t know, you don’t seem like the partying type. See? I knew it. So then why’d you come? Uh oh. Had to get out of the house, huh? What’s up?

I told you. I thought something was going on. Did you talk to her? Good. What happened? She got weirded out and said nothing was wrong, but then got distant, huh? Told you. It sounds like she’s hiding something. It is not a good sign when I’m spending more time with you than she is. Like, for her. I’m not saying anything about me. I don’t want to stop hanging out with you. Do you want to? There, see? No problem. Want a drink? There you go.

So what else has been going on in your life? Oh, jeez. The bad stuff never seems to stop with you, does it? You’re so brave. You’re so admirable. Want another drink? Yeah, no problem. I know the guy throwing the party.

Nah, that’s just the way I talk to people. You have to schmooze a little at parties to get beers, you know what I mean? He and I barely know each other. Yeah, no problem. It sure looks like you’re loosening up. You actually look happier. No, I notice it on your face. I really don’t want to be the one telling you this, but maybe it’s because you’re not around her. Yeah, I know you like her. …Ugh. I know you think you want to marry her, but from an outsider’s perspective, I really think t- okay, fine. I’ll stop. I’m just saying. I’m just looking out for you. I just like you.

Do you like me? No, like, really. Sometimes it feels like you’re drifting away from me. Yes, really. I don’t know. Want another drink? Yeah, I know you shouldn’t too, but it’s a party. There you go. Here, have another.

Oh, I don’t know. I was just word vomiting. I dunno. Sometimes it feels like you and I are drifting apart. I just want to salvage it. Yeah, it really feels like that. Nah, I don’t want to drink tonight, I’ll get another one for you though. I don’t know what would make it better. I guess I just miss how it used to be. Yes, with the sex, okay? Yes, I miss the sex. Don’t you miss it too? Don’t think about how much you drank. Don’t even think about her. She’s mistreating you. Yes, I’m sure she is. Well, fine, you can still be with her but you can have sex with me again. I want it. I bet you want it too. Are you sure? Yeah, there we go, you can admit it was good. Believe me, it was so good for me too. Hey. If you want, we can do it again. It’s a party, do you know anyone here? No one’s going to notice, they’re not going to talk.

Damn right you want it too. Let’s go. Closest bedroom we can find. Fuck yes, here we go. Take off your clothes. Mm, nice. Just as sexy as I remembered. You take good care of yourself. Now take good care of me.

Yes, I consent, dammit. Just hurry up and stick it in me. Fuck yes. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. It feels so good to have you inside me again. I don’t even care if you’re drunk. How much of this are you really going to remember tomorrow? Just take me. Take me like you did before. Against a wall, doggystyle, yes, all the positions. No, shut up, for one night I don’t want to hear this guilt crap. Just rail me. Ream me. Fuck me so hard I forget my own name. Fuck yes… just keep pounding me. I want to cum tonight so badly. Yes, good, good, fuck, keep going…

God, I missed this. Doesn’t it feel good to have your cock inside me again? I bet you missed this just as much as I did. Doesn’t my pussy feel so good wrapped around you? Nothing like a familiar place, huh? I bet you love having sex with me. I bet it feels way better than anyone else you’ve been with. Even your girlfriend. We just have such a connection. I feel so close to you. I want us to be as close as possible. I want to keep fucking you like an animal forever. Fuck, your cock feels so good in me. It feels so wonderful. I want this feeling to last forever.

Here it comes. Oh my god, here it comes… ahh, fuck yes. So satisfying. …Hello? Well, I guess I could have seen that coming. Should I be next to you when you wake up or should I risk it and leave now..?

Hey! Good to hear from you. Did you enjoy the party?? How much do you remember? Oh, so you remember that, huh? Hey. Breathe. Yeah, it was a crazy night. You were drinking a lot, it’s understandable. No, once you got drunk you were practically begging me to do it again. I don’t know, maybe because you were drunk your inhibitions were lowered and you just subconsciously wanted it this whole time. Stopped you? I only tried stopping you at first but you really wanted it and I wanted it too, okay? Yes, of course I was drunk too. Yeah, I drank a lot that night. I don’t remember too much. I don’t know if I’d want to do it again. After all, you have a girlfriend, right?

Really? You’d want to do it again? Wow. What changed? Well, I guess that’s all it takes. No, of course this wasn’t planned, I just wanted to go to a party with my friend, but what happened happened, we can’t change that ,and there’s no point in worrying about whether it makes us bad people.

How is your girlfriend, anyway? Oh, really? Why? Yeesh, that’s not good. Did you talk to her like I said? Yeah, if she responds like that it definitely means she has something to hide. I’m on your side here. I was never sure about her. I’m just being honest, it always seemed like she was hesitant. Or hiding something. Honestly, I wouldn’t rule out her being straight-up manipulative. I bet she’ll try to break up with you soon.

I know that’s not what you want. Honestly it might be for the best though. You’re so worried, she’s causing you so much stress. You’re even sleeping with someone else. So is she, I bet. I don’t know. I just get that feeling from her.

Hey, how’s it going? It’s so good to hang out with you again. How’s your girlfriend? No. She didn’t. She broke up with you? Why?? Oh my God, I’m so sorry. That’s got to be so hard to deal with. How long ago did it happen, what did she say? …Well that sounds like a weird answer. I guess she didn’t know her own feelings. You know what, you’re a free man now. You deserve better than her.

What? Me? No, I’m not really about that life. I’m happy being single. …Huh? Oh. Yeah. About us. Listen, it’s nothing personal, but I think I’m going to take a break from sex on a whole for a bit, if that’s okay. Yeah. No, nothing you did. You’re fine. I just am figuring out myself. Mental health is my passion. Yeah. Are you going to be okay? You matter. You’re so valid.

Hey! Yeah, sorry. No, I’ve just been so busy. Trying to finish this paper as we speak, can we talk another time? Thanks.

Hi! That’s a lot of messages, what do you need? Oh. No, I’ve just been super busy. Yup. Mhm. I’ve got to go, bye!

You caught me just as I was going to sleep. Yup! Oh, you’re not doing well? Well, be sure to breathe. Yeah. You’re valid. Goodnight!

Hey. Yup! Yeah. You know it. I’m actually so sleepy. I know it’s only 8 but I had a long day. Uh-huh… uh-huh… Goodnight.

What is it? What? No. Oh my God no. Don’t. Do you need me to come over? Please don’t hurt yourself. You’re valid, and you’re loved. So many people care so much about you. Please just calm down. Can you give me the knife? Thank you. You know what? Let’s go out for dinner tomorrow. You and me. We can talk.

Hey! It’s good to see you. Let’s go. What do you think you’re going to order? Ah, nice. That’s a good choice. I’m just going to go for the salad, I already ate. …Well, the most important thing here is that we’re spending time together, I wasn’t really thinking about the food. So, how are things? Oh. I’m sorry. Do you want to talk to me about them? Maybe that will help. Mental health is my – yeah, exactly.

Wow. That all sounds like a lot. That must be so tough for you to deal with. At least you have your friends as a support network, right? No? Shit, really? That’s not nice of them to abandon you in your time of need. What about your ex, are you still good with her?
I don’t know about that. I wouldn’t know how she’s doing better than you. Well, yeah, we are hanging out a lot, but we hung out a lot in the months leading up to you two breaking up as well. Of course I didn’t know anything about that. I was shocked when I heard about it from you. Yeah. I had no clue. No way of knowing at all.

And I certainly didn’t cause it.

Well, she seems okay. No, you’re right, not really. She seems stressed. When we’re hanging out she’s a lot more physical lately. I guess that’s because that’s how she communicates with me. So, what are you going to do? Ah, you’re still gunning for her, huh? You hope to get back with her someday?

That’s cute.

Wait, it won’t work? Why not? You think she has a crush on someone else? Oh, excuse me, you know she does. Wow, even as exes, you two communicate so much. So mature of you. What? Me? She has a crush on me? Wow. I had absolutely no clue. No idea at all. I wasn’t meaning to lead her on, no. That’s got to suck so much for you.

She certainly is attractive though, isn’t she?

Huh? Nothing. Just mumbling to myself. Yeah, this is weird for me too. Yeah, I bet it would kill you to see her with someone else when your feelings are this strong. That’s perfectly justified, you’re valid.

What? You’re worried? That she’ll end u- with me? Hey. Breathe. Let me take your hand. I promise you. That is never going to happen. She and I won’t be together. Okay? Okay. Are you finished your meal? Let’s take you home.

Here we are. Yeah, I can hang out with you for a few minutes. Yeah, I won’t bring anything up with her next time I see her, don’t worry. Nothing is going to happen anyway, like I said, remember? But, how are you feeling? Like, deep down? Wow, really, still? You want to kiss me?

Damn right.

Hm? Nothing. I don’t think it’s right for us to be doing anything like that. You’re not of sound mind right now. You’re upset. Mental health is my passion. You need to just have a clear head. Breathe. Live for you. Play some video games or do something that’s fun for you. Hanging out with her? I dunno. From my talks with her, it sounds like she needs space. Oh, trust me, I know she does. Yeah, and honestly, I bet if you give her space now, she’ll come back to you when she’s ready. Yeah, just give her as much space as you can. It’ll pay off in the long term. Honestly? Don’t even message her. Give it about a week. I bet she’ll really respect that. Yeah, let’s work together on this. I am your love guru, precisely! Okay, I have to go. You’re going to be safe tonight, right? Good. I appreciate you too.

Busy! Another time.

Sorry, I can’t reply right now. Bye!

Hey. Breathe. No, you’re important. You’re valid. What’s up? Hey, it’s okay. I figured it was an emergency if you called me at 3am. Okay, I’ll just stay up with you then. Because you matter. Let’s work together here. Put the knife down. There’s still so much you need to do with your life. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for staying here, you’re so brave.

And so manipulable.

Are you going to make smart choices? Yeah. That sounds good. Go to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Yes, I promise.

Sorry, schoolwork caught up with me. Another time? Bye!

Hey, what’s going on? Your text said it was an emergency, I came over as quick as possible, what’s up?

…Oh. So you found out, huh? I don’t know how long. Maybe like a week? We didn’t plan it. I can’t help my feelings. We were just hanging out and we just… happened to kiss.

She’s a good kisser.

Yeah, I know that I said it wouldn’t happen. Sometimes these things just happen. Well she wanted it too. It’s not like you own her. She’s her own person, she can make her own choices.

Or acquiesce to my choices.

It’s totally valid that you’re angry. I don’t know what’s going to happen as a result of this. I’d like to stay friends but I totally understand if you don’t want to be friends.

I bet you’d feel too guilty to cut me out of your life though, wouldn’t you?

Yeah, this wasn’t a one-time thing for us. …A couple other times. Yeah. Once in her car, and – okay, right, right, you don’t need to know the details. I’m sorry.

God, seeing you with this broken face is better than all the sex I could ever get from you.

No, I wouldn’t say I love her. Yeah, I know you do. Yeah, we probably won’t last as a couple. I mean… I’m not even out. You wouldn’t out me to the world, would you? Thank you. That means so much. I need to stay in the closet for now. My parents would never understand. But yeah, I’m graduating soon anyways. We won’t last. Hey, try if you want to. But for now, this is what she wants. I wouldn’t want to disrespect her feelings either. Thank you for understanding. I’m sure you will have a talk with her about this.

But not before I tell her some terrible things about you and reveal how awful you were to her so that she reacts poorly to you confronting her.

Yeah, I want what’s best for you. I’m sorry I made you so upset. I want nothing more than to be a good friend for you. So, uh… how’s your day been? …Wow, that was hostile. Okay, okay, I’ll leave. Call me if you think you’re going to do anything stupid. Mental health is important.

And so predictable.

Hey. It’s been a day since we talked. You doing okay? Oh. That bad, huh? I’m sorry. Did the talk with her go poorly? Oh no. I’m sorry. I had hoped that it would go better.

This must make you feel so terrible. You must be thinking so irrationally. You must want out. I bet you have some ideas, don’t you?

Yeah. I understand. Um, I’m sorry, but I have to go. I have plans. Yeah, she and I have plans. We’re going to the library, that’s all. Look, I get this is complicated, but this is just the way things are. Open communication is key. We’ll all get through this and be closer than ever.

I’m lying. We’re not going to the library. We’re going to my place. She and I are going to make out on my bed. Your ex, the one you made a point about having a low sex drive, is going to attack my mouth like she needs me. She’s going to run her hands up and down my body. She’s going to want me so badly. She’s going to go farther with me in a week than you got with her in six months. Doesn’t that drive you crazy? We’re going to fuck. She’s going to taste her first pussy, and she’s going to get fucking addicted to it. She’s going to want nothing more than to please me, she’s going to want me so fucking badly, and she’s not going to spare even a single thought for you. She’s going to love every second of it, more than she ever did with you.

Yeah, I can see you’re still mad at me. I want to move past it soon too. Go out for dinner with me this week, okay? …Okay, no, sorry. I won’t suggest it again. I’ll text you, okay? Don’t do anything rash.

And if you do, I left a knife on the kitchen counter for you.

Where are you?? Your housemates said they haven’t seen you all day. What do you mean, you took off in your car and found a place to die?! What the fuck does that mean? Your ex is calling the police. Yes, she’s with me.

She’s always with me now. Never leaving my side, like an obedient puppy.

No, stay on the line with me. Please, don’t go. We’re so worried for you. Don’t kill yourself. Please, your ex is here, she’s crying. She’s so stressed. She cares about you so much. She still does.

And for the next while, she won’t be able to think about you without thinking of this, how much it scared her, and how she needs to push you away to stop being hurt like this.

Hey. I heard the police found you. We’re so glad you’re alive and safe. You’re in the hospital? That’s probably for the best. No, you can’t talk to your ex. She got so stressed she’s in bed sick. She’s requested not to talk to anyone for the next few days. You know how she is.

But I know her better. I’ve gotten to know her so well over the last few days. She requested to not talk to anyone but me. I’m the one that’s there to comfort her. She associates you with pain, and me with relief. Just how I want it.

How’s the hospital? Oh, bad, huh? Uh-huh? Uh-huh. Wow, that sounds so rough. Mhm. Hey, I’ve gotta go. See ya!

Your ex has gotten better, and she’s feeling well enough to have some fun with me. So that’s what I’m gonna do, instead of talk to you. As you lie in the hospital feeling like no one is there for you, I’m going to be grinding on your ex’s tongue. As you sit there with no one to visit you but psychiatrists, I’m going to strap on a dildo and give it to your girlfriend so she screams my name. My name. As you sit on the uncomfortable beds staring up at fluorescent lights, I’m going to sit in my queen-sized bed, spooning her, and rubbing her pussy until she can’t take it anymore, grins back at me, and mounts me so I can see all the lust her eyes have for me.

Hey. Yeah, I agree, we should talk about how things are going. It’s been a week since the hospital released you, huh? How have you been doing since? I was told it was a miracle you survived.

And not what I planned, but I’m improvising.

Yeah, she and I are whatever. Listen, um, I don’t think it’s right for me to just talk to you about our private life. We’re in a relationship now, and it doesn’t feel right to talk about my girlfriend like this in front of you. Yeah, we’re… decent. We’re content. I know you asked if we were, ‘happy,’ but I’m just not going to answer, okay?! God, please let it go. Just… breathe.

I know you. I know how much these scenarios swirl around your head. I know that the less information I give you, the more you’re going to think about what the answer could be, and jump to worst-case scenario. Do you honestly think I wasn’t going to use that to my advantage? So every time I give you a vague answer and disappear with her, you’re going to think of us making out and grinding up against each other’s bodies. You’re going to think of us locked in a sixty-nine on our bed, passionately enjoying each other. Licking each other until we cum. Telling each other we’ve never had orgasms that intense. Get it? Never. As in, you never gave her one that good. She belongs with me. She certainly doesn’t belong with you.

Oh, you still have classes with her, huh? That’s gotta be weird. She’s being distant, huh? I’m sorry, but I can’t control her feelings.

You can’t paint a new face on a puppet without ruining the original face, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pull the strings.

Yeah. Look, the future will be the future. Just accept that this is how things are, okay? I have to go.

I’m sure you won’t be dying inside the next few days. Don’t forget to Google how much acetaminophen is enough to cause an overdose. You have a full jar of headache medicine. Use it.

Hey. Cool to bump into you. How’ve you been? Ah. Right. How are your friends? Oh, weird. They think you treated her badly? Cheated? Well, I mean, I guess you did…

I wonder how they found out about that.

They didn’t know who you cheated with, right?! Okay, good. Well, I mean, I talk to them too. Yeah, I’m pretty close with them. We had a studying session the other day and that one friend was making so many funny jokes, you should have been there… Anyway, you can’t tell them about your ex and me. I’m not out of the closet. It wouldn’t be right.

How convenient that this lines up with your moral code. I know that no matter what I do, you’d never make me come out of the closet.

Yeah. I have to go. See ya.

Guess who I’m meeting up with? Guess who’s going to rush to my house with me, and as soon as the door closes we’re going to kiss passionately against it, and remove each other’s shirts, and get right to work teasing each other with our mouths. She loves it. She’s insatiable. She craves sex at least three times a day. I can barely keep up with her.

Hey, it’s 3am, what’s wrong? What? You overheard her telling people? Well… that’s her right. You called me for that? Yeah, I get you can’t tell people and she can and that feels unfair. But she’s the one in the relationship. And she’s been so stressed lately. Mental health is my passion. I’ve been taking such good care of her. Yeah, I get that you’ve been stressed too since you haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this.

I ensured that.

No, you still can’t tell anyone. Please? That would be such a betrayal. My parents would kill me. They would never understand. I have no clue what they would do to me.

Odds are, nothing. My parents are pretty easygoing. But hey, you never met them. Unlike your ex’s parents, the ones you liked, and they liked you. Too bad you’ll never see them again.

Well, I’m not responsible for your ex’s behavior. You need to stop calling me with this stuff. You’re getting obsessed. You’re being paranoid. I have no idea where this came from. It’s really weird. I need to go. Bye.

I can hear it in your voice. You’re cracking.

Busy. Later!

You’re obsessed.

Can’t talk right now!

You’re looking for any sign of wrongdoing from me. You’re looking for anything you can use to turn the tides your way. After all, you’re feeling helpless, powerless. When you tried taking control, that made things worse. When you sat back and became complacent, that made things worse. Both doing nothing and doing something only makes this situation worse for you. Just how I designed it.

Hey, do you have your ex’s old book? Yeah, that one. She likes it a lot and wants it back. Why didn’t she ask herself? Um, awkward… she kind of didn’t want to talk to you directly. Sorry.

And your obsession landed you a bingo. Yeah, I’m getting dick on the side. She doesn’t know. Of course she doesn’t know. She’s be mortified if she found out I was cheating on her. Even in our secret relationship. But thanks to my lie about the book, you don’t feel comfortable even talking to her, let alone being the still-in-love ex telling his ex that her new perfect girlfriend is cheating on her. Do you think she’ll even believe you? No you don’t. She might, but let’s keep that between us. She doesn’t even want the book back, and she would be delighted if you tried to still be her friend, I just did my research well and whatever makes you look pathetic is good with me.

Hey! Oh, you’re inviting us to a party? Hey, thanks for trying to move past what happened a few months ago. That means a lot. Unfortunately, we’ve got plans.

Plans to eat each other out like starved animals over every piece of furniture we can find. She’s so insatiable. She wants it so badly from me. Even the right look from me gets her wet. And I give her that look often. I like her body. I like using it. I like having my fun with it. After all, I told you… we’re never going to last. So why not have a little fun corrupting her and using her as my little plaything until I move and tell her things are too ‘complicated’? Of course I’ll bring you up as a major reason why, just so her subconscious despises you that little bit extra. Just so you have no chance.

Hey! Just going to class. Bye!

You never had a chance, ever since I decided I was done having sex with you. You were boring. Her? She was innocent, she was malleable, she was fascinating. So are your friends. We hang out all the time now. I told each of them secretly about my relationship. They know. They support us. We like to talk about how good the relationship is going behind closed doors. Your friends are all so glad she’s with me now, instead of with such a disrespectful, melodramatic cheater.

Hey. Yup. Bye.

Your life is pretty sweet. I’d know, I have it now. What do you have? Nothing, except a relationship with a bottle and a knife. Both get friendlier every day. I’m so glad you’re making friends.

Hi! Bye.

You have nothing left. I saw to that. See, in bed you’re boring. But as a case study? You’re fucking fascinating. Mental health is my passion. I loved watching you. I wanted to see how much it would take. I crave pushing you over the edge. I’m enamored with seeing how much it takes to finally push you to kill yourself.

You have no friends. No partner. No way to push yourself back up so you can start again. Every time you tried, I knew just what to do to push you back down while seeming like I was on your side. Just to see that broken fucking look on your face. God, I could get high off of that.

Now do it. End it all. Kill yourself. You know you want to. You crave your death almost as badly as I do. I see it on your face every day – you’re getting closer. I’ve still got my eye on you. I never wanted you to know you had the upper hand.

Because it was all true. Every suspicion. I took her from you. She doesn’t even think about you now. You’re going to kill yourself tonight and tomorrow as we spoon after having sex, she’s going to bring you up and ask if it’s weird that she’s not feeling as sad as she should. And I’ll ask her what “should” means, and we’ll talk for a bit before we find better uses for our tongues again.

And she’ll never know I cheated on her. Or ruined her life the way I ruined yours. I wonder how much of a wreck she’ll be after you’re dead and I break up with her a month later and move away. Maybe then she’ll realize just how little she has left in her life. I bet she’ll kill herself too. I’m almost sad I won’t be around to see that one. But at least I got to watch you deteriorate. Because now’s the time. You’re going to do it. Today. And no one will even care. Except me. I’ll be enthralled. That’s the best thing you deserve, you scum.

Breathe. For the last time, breathe.

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